Today we received an email from our clinic to let us know that a donor we were interested in had been given the all clear and was officially on the market. They uploaded a pic of him and we were initially pleased! It was a photo of him at about age 6 we think. He looked really cute and had the hair and eye colours we were looking for to be somewhere in between the two of us.
When we sat down and worked out what we wanted our donor to be like we considered a few things. Here’s what our wish list looked like:
- Donor & family must have relatively good health – certain things were acceptable depending on the health condition.
- Physical features somewhere in between Anna and I for a blended approach but no stand out features. We didn’t want anything prominent that we would look at and go ‘oh yep they’re the donor all over’.
- An essay or note to the children that we connected with – we wanted someone that seemed like they have a kind and soft soul.
- Someone that had passion for their hobbies and interests or someone who generally showed some sort of ambition or drive.
As for point 2, we completely understand that our beautiful babies will have the DNA and genetic make up of another wonderful human out there that was kind enough to donate his sperm and make our dream something achievable however we wanted to choose someone that is ordinary looking with nothing that stands out. We don’t want the next Dolce and Gabbana model with a chiseled jaw or striking smile. We just want your average looking guy that would blend into a crowd so that the baby is more likely to have defining features from either Anna or I (of course depending on which egg was used).
So that brings us to today, the person that we thought might be our donor. He was cute and sweet looking. We liked most pieces of information on his profile and he ticked virtually every box. So why didn’t we jump on the chance to snatch him up? Well… it all came down to his ears. Yep you read that right, his ears. Now don’t get me wrong, we would love a baby no matter what and this guy looked adorable as a child, but given the choice, would we avoid choosing someone with a stand out feature? Well yes, I guess the answer is yes. Perhaps we could come to accept that the baby would have a stand out feature from their donor or maybe we would need to wait until we were 100% happy with our choice. We aren’t looking to be picky but I guess for some people they look for someone who is extraordinary whereas we really just want someone who is… well, extra ordinary! The search continues… for now!